Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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