I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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