wat bout pragnant strippers??
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
she smelled like a LAN party
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
