now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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