I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
