If i come over, it means nothing
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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