I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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