There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize