you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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