Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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