i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
