I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
