dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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