You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
