Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
