i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
