is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
