Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
