There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
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