Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
