You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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