no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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