The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
The air was thick with penises
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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