how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
