I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize