id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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