I skipped work to stalk him.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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