This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Randomize
