There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
