So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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