so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
