Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Watching her eat just hurts me
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
