He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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