he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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