I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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