this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
