i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
