Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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