I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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