your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize