sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
