hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
