We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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