do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
false alarm, still single
Randomize
