I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize