If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
