We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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