We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
