If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
