can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
