at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
