swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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