forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Sober January is a disaster.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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