Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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