she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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