i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
