so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
