No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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