ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
