Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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