I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
