her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
