I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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