Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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