That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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