Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize
